The weight of the world seems to be on my shoulders this morning. I think everyone is concerned about the immanent war in Iraq. I doubt that I’ll be recalled to active duty for it but I am still concerned about whether we’re doing the right thing. I’ll get concerned about being recalled if we have to fight North Korea at the same time. Still, I think seminary might be a valid reason for a deferment if it comes up.

School should be a joy since I’m focusing a lot on preaching this term (and I love preaching), but I have a sermon outline due tomorrow on Mark 4:1-20 (the parable of the soils) and I preach a 15-minute sermon on Tuesday in a preaching lab, plus I have a lot of reading and exegesis to do. Too much in too short a period of time.

Work is becoming tiresome. It takes too much of my time and I’m having to become more directive as a supervisor. I had to put down a minor coup the other day when the troops started taking breaks when they wanted and didn’t check with me first. I’ve been offered a “mini route” with a window cleaning company but I don’t know how I can do it since I won’t be able to scale back my hours at Whole Foods. Still, I’d like to move into window cleaning so it may be a step in the right direction. On top of that, I’m going to talk with my pastor Friday about a possible position at church as the “District Pastor.” I really, REALLY miss being involved in ministry at church so I’m hoping that that will be a good fit.

Then it turns out that our van is dead. We know that the engine is on its last legs, it has 230,000 miles on it and is burning oil. It has only has another year or so left on it. Now the transmission is shot and needs to rebuilt to the tune of $1,865 (plus tax). I feel that fixing the transmission at this point would be like replacing the kitchen appliances in a house that has a smoldering fire in the basement. Disaster is on the way, should I put more money in it now?

My wonderful wife reminded me this morning that God loves us. That he has fixed his love on us and that he cares for us. It almost sounds glib but she is right. Jesus took my sins to render me right with his Father. I cannot make myself more acceptable to God than to rest in Jesus. The storm of life rages around me, decay strikes at all I have and yet I face an imperishable eternity worshipping and loving God and being loved by him.