WASHINGTON, D.C. (OIC News) – Embattled Supreme Court nominee Harriet Miers withdrew from the confirmation process. “No, I don’t want to be just friends” Ms. Miers said slamming the Congressional screen door behind her as she stormed off the porch at the Capital building. She avoided questions and cameras as she entered her rusted 1993 Dodge Omni and sped down the gravel driveway.

President Bush, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said, “I really hoped this would work out for them. I don’t think there is any getting back together now.” Vice President Cheney dabbed a tear from the President’s eye, “She’s tough,” he said, “she’ll bounce back.”

In related news, the collective sigh of relief from across the nation created a large low pressure zone that has since spawned tropical storm Gamma which is now the threatening eastern seaboard.